AN EQUAL SOVEREIGN STATE OR UTTER HOGWASH?
Two equal and sovereign states!
That is what Tayyip Erdoğan is saying!
And ours is repeating it!
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In other words, they consider both the Republic of Cyprus and the Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus “equal” and “sovereign” too!
Well, that’s a lie!
This is a big lie!
And this big lie is clearly evident!
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There is no point in mentioning the Organisation of Turkic States’ latest meeting in Uzbekistan!
The state you claim to be “equal and sovereign”, abbreviated as the TRNC, is null and void in “international law”!
But let’s move on from that!
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Yes, let’s move beyond that!
Okay, “international law is flawed” …
Fine, “UN Security Council resolutions are biased”…
Okay, “the world is bigger than the five” [Translator’s note: Quote from Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan regarding the permanent members of the UN Security Council] but how do you explain the issue of “sovereignty”?
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For example, do you really believe that the TRNC is “sovereign”?
Or do you enjoy making jokes so much?
What sovereignty my dear brother?
The sovereignty of what?
Both its political will and democracy resemble a “chained bicycle” …
You only ride the bike if its owner turns up, brings the keys or gives you the code!
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What’s more…
Forget about international law and the fact that sovereignty is under occupation!
Since we mentioned bicycles, come let’s focus on this issue…
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For almost a year, I have been taking daily 4-5 kilometre-long walks…
Three months ago I also added cycling to my routine…
Sometimes I ride 8 kilometres, sometimes 14 kilometres…
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Why 8 kilometres? Because the distance between my home and the supermarket in South Cyprus where I go to buy meat is 4 kilometres.
The round trip is 8 kilometres in total!
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So, why do I buy meat from the South?
They use the Euro in the South…
10 years ago 1 Euro was equivalent to 2.2 Turkish Liras …
Today, 1 Euro is nearly 22 Turkish Liras…
The decimal point has been erased!
Despite this, the price of meat in the TRNC is almost double the price of meat in the South!
By the way, it’s not because I particularly love pork, but it’s worth mentioning that pork is cheaper compared to lamb and beef.
Also, the price of chicken is almost the same [on both sides]!
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Now, let’s come to the story behind the 14-kilometre ride and why it is 14 kilometres!
Well, those who know, know…
There are three crossing points in Nicosia…
Two of them are only for pedestrians and cyclists…
Only one is for vehicles…
Oh, some vehicles do pass from Ledra Palace, but they need to belong to the UN and so forth.
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One of the crossing points is Metehan also known as Kermiya or Aydemet [Agios Dhometios]! It has three names! The other is Ledra Palace…
I leave my home, cross through Metehan [Agios Dhometios], glide past the hippodrome in the South, pass by the courts, and the parliament, and then, say hello to the TRNC as I cross back through Ledra Palace!
Approximately 7 kilometres!
From Ledra Palace, I ride through Dereboyu [Shakespeare Avenue] to Yenikent Gönyeli [Guenyeli], another 7 kilometres!
My math may not be as good as Devlet Bahçeli’s, but 7 plus 7 equals 14! [Translator’s note: Author makes reference to Turkish MHP leader Devlet Bahçeli’s faux pas during a speech where he failed to add up the number of MPs correctly]
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Well sir, forget about the math…
Let’s talk about the roads!
The roads in the TRNC are full of potholes!
I mean, they’re full of craters!
Forget about the bikes, they cause severe damage to vehicles as well!
The asphalt is cracked and worn out…
Now, what about the South?
In the South, there are dedicated bicycle paths almost everywhere…
There is a magnificent route in South Nicosia where you can ride your bike, exercise, and walk… And the roads are sparkling clean!
The streets are much cleaner!
There is no litter on the sides of the roads!
The houses are well-maintained!
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So, what about the TRNC?
The minute you cross through Ledra Palace; and you’re going to ride your bicycle, may Allah protect you!
You’re completely at the mercy of the car, minibus, lorry and bus drivers on the road!
What about Dereboyu? [Shakespeare Avenue]
To be on the safe side and not die as an infidel you recite the Fatiha [Surah Al Fatiha], recite the Kelime-i Şahadet [the Islamic declaration of faith],
before beginning to cycle!
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You can make dozens of comparisons…
You can compare…
You can evaluate by analogy or by comparison…
Unfortunately, there is no equality! You’re not equal in any aspect!
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For example, in South Nicosia, you won’t be attacked by any stray dogs or dogs with owners that freely roam the streets!
Why?
Because they don’t exist!
In the TRNC?
Thank God, in the past month, the dogs at Rauf Raif Denktaş’s mausoleum haven’t attacked me, but recently I witnessed them lightly attacking a group of women visitors from Turkey!
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We too have three dogs…
But we don’t allow them to roam the streets and bark at anyone passing by!
They bark from behind the fence and gate, and even then we feel embarrassed about it, but we don’t let them out onto the streets!
We have at least 30 dogs, both owned and stray, living on the streets in our neighbourhood…
When they get annoyed, they bark and even attack people they don’t like…
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International law, sovereignty, public works, transportation, public transport, sanitation, schools, hospitals…
So what are we?
Sovereign and equal!
It’s utter hogwash!
Stop making up things!
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Can artificial intelligence become president?
Recently artificial intelligence has become one of the most important topics…
In the UK, British Telecom in the short term will lay off 10,000 people and replace them with artificial intelligence, with a future plan to replace 55,000 more!
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In Turkey, the second round of the presidential election will be completed next Sunday…
I say completed because the voting process abroad and, of course, in the TRNC already started last weekend.
For example, Turkish citizens and voters can cast their votes in Famagusta and Nicosia until tomorrow…
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Especially if Recep Tayyip Erdoğan wins the election, he will most probably give [authority on the] “TRNC” to one of his vice presidents or assistants, just like he has done in the past!
I hope he appoints the Head of Religious Affairs as his Vice President…
I just felt like saying that!
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But you know what I’m really curious about?
Or let me put it this way, more than curiosity, I have a humble suggestion…
If Tayyip bey wins the election, let’s not elect a “President” in the TRNC anymore… We don’t need one, particularly like the current one!
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So what should we do?
So what should Turkey do?
Artificial intelligence should be appointed as the head of the TRNC!
This would be a nice, elegant and progressive move!
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Can’t we?
Why not?
Let it be the world’s problem!
Let it be Nikos Christodoulides’ problem!
It wouldn’t be a problem for us at all!
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All we would need to do would be to programme it to attend weddings, circumcision ceremonies, mosques, fairs, football matches, strawberry fields, and industrial zones, and occasionally visit Varosha; take walks in Bellapais in the mornings and take selfies…
The rest is unnecessary!
Oh, and it should feel intimidated by some of its potential rivals!
For example, if it hears the name “Tahsin,” [Ertuğruloğlu] it should get annoyed and say, “Alright, leave, leave… go!”
When someone says “Ünal” [Üstel], it should shout three times, “Get on with your work, come on, get on with your work!”
[Photo insert: showing an empty bottle of whisky left in front of Rauf Denktaş’s mausoleum in Nicosia]
A tender has been announced for the upgrade and completion of the mausoleum of the Founding President Rauf Raif Denktaş. Dear Hüseyin Amcaoğlu, since his election as the mayor of Gönyeli [Guenyeli], has been trying without any success to clean up the weeds and remove the litter and rubbish here… I took this photo last Saturday morning… Someone had a drink the night before and left the bottle right in the middle of the open space… There are four or five dogs sleeping at the spot where wreaths are placed at the memorial, especially during hot hours of the day… They lash out if disturbed… There is a step or mini amphitheatre like structure in the back… It’s filled with vomit and beer bottles… But the most interesting thing is that someone tried to spin their car on the spot where the wreaths are placed! There are tyre tracks on the concrete! And this is the mausoleum of the founder of the sovereign, equal state!
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