By This post is also available in: ΕΛΛΗΝΙΚΑ (GREEK) TÜRKÇE (TURKISH)
THE ORGY of self-congratulation in which the government engaged because the United Arab Emirates kindly offered to send us some mobile desalination units to help us avoid the looming water crisis this summer was to be expected as our many golf courses will survive.
And there was the added bonus that we would pay nothing for the 15 units, that are expected to start pumping water in late August, early September just as we will be running out of water for our golf courses, lawns, swimming pools and toilets.
We can only pray that all 15 units that the UAE does not need will be working by then and producing the 15,000 cubic metres a day the government promised because if they do not everyone will be driving north to bring back pseudo-water so they can shower.
Prezniktwo looked very pleased with himself when he announced the news in an interview on Antenna TV on Wednesday night, taking personal credit for securing the units. He had submitted the request to UAE and its president Mohammed bin Zayed Al Nahyan offered the units free of charge as a result of “the excellent political relations we have.”
It was thanks to “our foreign policy” there will be no water cuts.
“DIPLOMACY contributed to Cyprus not going thirsty,” said the headline of the Phil report written by the presidential palace’s official cheerleader Andreas Bimbishis, who also credited Foreign Minister Constantinos Kombos for this victory of water diplomacy.
“Few knew that Kombos’ latest trip to the UAE was a mission that had to do with the broader mobilisation of Cypriot diplomacy with a view to dealing with the problem of drought facing the country,” said the report, which also mentioned that the first consultations were made by the Prez.
After technocrats discussed what was needed, Kombos flew to the UAE to finalise the deal, presumably because the agriculture minister could not be trusted to do it. Bimbishis reminded us that the deal was the result of the good cooperation between the two countries, “a cooperation that started when Nikos Christodoulides was foreign minister, and continued and was upgraded by Kombos.”
The key to the upgrading of relations was the cooperation of the two countries on the Amalthea initiative for the transfer of humanitarian aid to Gaza, it was reported. Amalthea was not a totally meaningless exercise after all then.
AS USUAL, it was left to Mini Me to conduct the main congratulating of the government and explain the importance of the president’s achievement for those of us whose IQ is too low to grasp the scale of what our diplomacy had pulled off.
The Prez “after an intensive effort on our part and fully utilising the excellent relations we have built with the UAE, but also thanks to the Cyprus Republic’s reinforced diplomatic footprint, the solution of the problem has been achieved as regards the danger of water cuts in the summer,” said Mini Me, before elaborating on the significance.
“What is significant is that through these diplomatic contacts, through the activation of an outward looking foreign policy, it is proved in practice that diplomacy is not theoretical, it is an issue of national policy, it is an issue that could serve the national interests and that which has direct and practical repercussions in our daily lives.”
Why have a policy or plan for the management of water resources when the government can resort to practical diplomacy to tackle the drought and avoid imposing water cuts?
FORMER auditor-general Odysseas might not have become a politician yet but he has started behaving like one. His attack, just before Easter, on the Prez over the issuing of licences and permits to a functions building in Nicosia that did not satisfy the criteria was not just political, it gave the impression that the 2028 presidential election campaign had already begun.
The nastiness of the exchange between Ody and Nik was good entertainment during Holy Week, with the former accusing the latter of “blatant lies” and the latter accusing the former of resorting to “fake news.” Both accusations were correct, showing that Ody is fast learning the tricks of his new trade.
His mouthpiece Phil, promoting an exclusive interview with the great man that will appear in Sunday’s issue, informed us on Saturday that Ody has rented an office in Nicosia. The paper also informs us that from his new office, in Prodromou Street, he can see the presidential palace through the trees, wondering whether it was “a coincidence or symbolic choice.”
Or he may be using a telescope from his window to spy on his election rival.
GENUINELY shocked to read that a man was fined €1,350 for wearing his face mask under his chin while walking on a Nicosia street during the Covid-19 hysteria, the time of lockdowns, state repression and mass-scale violations of human rights in the name of public health.
The Supreme Court threw out his appeal, backing the decision of the court of first instance, which had imposed this ludicrously high fine. We have forgotten the fascistic period we lived through, just a few years ago, when a person could be fined over a grand for not having his face covered with a mask when walking in the open air.
Someone could be driving completely drunk, putting lives at risk, but not get such a big fine. Covidiocy infected the judges as well even though they never took off their face masks, not even when they were having a shower.
SIX MONTHS ago, the Prez appointed public employee Kyprianos Louis to the newly-created post of Coordinator of Religious Groups. He was supposed to liaise with the representatives of the religious groups for some reason or other.
I had suspected the post was created because Louis was a relative of the presidential couple, as I could not think of anything that a religious coordinator would do. Apparently, there are things the coordinator can do because religious groups have reportedly complained to the government that Louis had done nothing for them.
Louis was in no way to blame for this because he has not been assigned any duties by the government, has no office and no staff, but he is getting paid to do nothing. Doing nothing is my dream job, but, scandalously, the government never advertised the post, giving it to one of its own, who instead of being grateful is complaining to the press because he has no work to do. How sad is that?
JUST before Easter, the education ministry gave its proposals for the new evaluation system for teachers to the teaching union bosses for their feedback. One union boss has already rubbished one proposal because it wanted to give teachers points for hard work as this would unfairly penalise lazy teachers.
A customer sent some ‘quotes’ from actual performance evaluations which could be used in the case of many public school teachers if the teaching union bosses give their permission.
Here are a few: “I would not allow this employee to breed; he would be out of his depth in parking lot puddle; this employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot; he sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them; since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and shows signs of starting to dig”.
I WOULD like to finish with something said by the UN Secretary-General’s Special Representative Colin Stewart in a speech he gave at CVAR about the Cyprob some 10 days ago. It was something never heard before in relation to the Cyprob talks. UN officials and envoys are usually ‘cautiously optimistic’ or ‘hopeful’ about the prospects of progress in the process.
Not Stewart. Asked by a member of the audience what he thought about the prospects of the process set in motion in Geneva, he said: “There are reasons to not despair.”
This article was originally published on 27.04.2025
Source: TALES FROM THE COFFEESHOP: WATER DIPLOMACY MEANS CYPRUS WON’T GO THIRSTY
