WE ARE FED UP OF THESE FAIRY TALES

ΕΛΛΗΝΙΚΑ (GREEK) TÜRKÇE (TURKISH)

What’s going on?
Nothing new!
The Cyprus Turkish Electricity Authority’s fuel oil procurement tender, which according to the interpretation of my friends from Elye [Elia] was “carried out in transparency” was awarded to İçkale Petrol, the company that had submitted the second lowest bid.
Should it not have been awarded [to the firm]?
No one would dare?

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What else is going on?
Nothing new!
Ünal Üstel took a swipe at Sunat Atun, and then Sunat Atun “somewhat took a swipe” at Ünal Üstel!…
What was the reason?
I couldn’t quite figure that out but from what I understood it had something to do with İçkale [being awarded the tender].
You bribed them…no I didn’t and so forth!
Can anyone come out and say what’s going on?
No one has the courage!

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So what else happened?
Well, bro, it has been reported that the US has lifted the arms embargo on the Republic of Cyprus…
Really? That’s strange!
Had the US not “lifted” the embargo two years ago?
It had, but now it has done so once again –“for the sake of renewing” its pledge!
I mean what I can say; I’m going to be misunderstood if I dare say “everyone is taking a ‘stiff’ stance against us”!
But we should include condemning the US once in a while among our habit of hiding or covering up things, shouldn’t we?

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Ok, you published Turkey’s “statement of condemnation” first as the Foreign Ministry’s statement and later as the President’s statement following a simple edit; but would you issue a statement about all the money İçkale has pocketed?
What’s wrong?
You don’t have the courage?
Should I do it if I have the courage?
Yes, you’re also right!

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What does İçkale do?
“It pockets!”…
What are our guys doing?
One is going to America to promote the sovereignty and equality of the state and in addition, the Greek-Greek Cypriot duo are arming themselves; we cannot have a solution under any circumstances, and should the Turkish troops leave the island, they will definitely swindle us!
Sorry, not swindle us!
It was, ah yes I found it, massacre us!

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I missed my grandmother all of a sudden…
She was really good at telling us fairy tales…
My granny Remziye would not call them “fairy tales”…
She couldn’t pronounce the word “fairy” properly.
Her hands were all full of calluses…
She would rub my back and it was a real treat…
She would make great Halloumi…
She would make a great chicken roast and potatoes in the oven…
And bake the best shortbreads…

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I would lie on my grandmother’s lap and she would start telling me a fairy tale;
…One day a shepherd grew thirsty as he was grazing his flock on the mountain…Back then, there used to be freshwater springs in the mountains…Just as the shepherd knelt down to drink, a snake bit him on the left side of his head…(my grandmother would use the word stung but bit is the right word to use. Let’s not make a mistake)

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The snake turned out to be what we call a “Gufi” [Translator’s note: Blunt-nosed viper in Turkish Cypriot dialect]. A Cypriot viper…
The man is waiting to die…
And he should die…
But just the opposite, he grows stronger every passing day…
So much so that he goes to see a doctor.
The doctor tells him, “the snake’s poison helped you recover from your illness”…

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Now, what does my grandmother have to do with this “issue”?
I know that if I were to mention that our springs dried up, or we caused them to dry up you’re going to tell me “Turkey is providing us with water.”
But I won’t tell you that!
But what I am saying is, stop feeding us these fairy tales which, my grandmother used to tell us!
For example put aside the issue as to why Faiz Sucuoğlu was not wanted, tell us the truth!
For example tell us what İçkale is? who “pockets” how much?

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My grandmother rubbing my back with her callous hands was an incredible delight…
Her “stories” were like therapy, putting me to sleep…
And it felt good…
But you “molesting us” every day and “telling us stories day and night” is not just putting the community to sleep, it is exhausting it!
Is there no one who will say “Enough, stop telling us fairy tales”?
Is there no one who will yell, “We’ve had enough of being swindled, of being robbed, all lies, all lies”?
Or would the “Greek Cypriots massacre us?” [If we do]

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What’s this?
The US is going to sell arms to the Greek Cypriots!
Bro, if the US doesn’t, can’t the Greek Cypriots find other weapons?
Were the Greek Cypriot soldiers holding toys in their hands until two years ago?
What a load of baloney!

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There were the world-famous fairy tales by La Fontaine; ours should be called “The Fairy Tales by the Thieves”!
If they’re not thieves, they’re fascists; if they’re not fascists then you come up with something!
For example, Ünal Üstel called them the “procurement mafia”!
It could be!

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Anyway thank god Ersin Tatar is going to America. Let Joe Biden worry a little now as I’m sure [Tatar] will give him a piece of his mind, “bro what’s this you selling weapons to Greek Cypriots!”
C’mon Seymen başı! [Translator’s note: Seymen Başı was the title given to the head of protectors and guardians of Turkic tribes dating back to the Seljuk Turks]

An honorary doctorate to our kebab cook!

I frequently read the column “Tales from the Coffeeshop” in the Cyprus Mail…
The other day, the columnist criticized a high-ranking official from the Republic of Cyprus’ Health Ministry for receiving an “award” from a hospital in Israel, to which she had transferred Cypriot patients. He said it was like “being honoured by the neighbourhood kebab shop for eating a mixed kebab every day and being the restaurant’s best customer.”

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I thought of Ersin Tatar…
Our very own Seymenbaşı!
I’m lately calling him our Uncle İzzet short pants because he is our fashion icon after all!

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Is he not frequently receiving honorary doctorates from universities in Turkey?
Why?
Why are they bestowing him these titles?
Is it because of his contribution to science and education?
What kind of a contribution has he made?

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Is there no similarity with the example of the Greek Cypriot health ministry’s high-ranking official?
Of course, the owner of the kebab shop should applaud his best customer!
The man is literally working for the kebab shop!
And so what are they going to give him in return?
Two Adana [kebabs], one shish kebab, two slices of pitta bread, a Şirdan [Translator’s note: Şirdan (pronounced Shirdan) is a food unique to Adana made up of the stomach of lamb stuffed with chopped meat] and an honorary doctorate!
And a cold glass of Turnip Juice!
Cheers!
But why?
For science and education but mainly for his grasp and contribution to Turkish Language and Literature and Turkish history!

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The legendary Kebab cook, Güner abi [Translator’s note: ‘Abi’ in Turkish is a term used to address someone older or senior as a sign of respect] will be giving me an honorary doctorate this week with a ceremony to be held at his shop in Yenişehir [Neapoli], Nicosia!

The EU membership, followed by the Ukraine-Russia war and the EU’s open hostile stance against Russia has disturbed the Greek Cypriot fanatic church supporters the most…Why? Because the Greek Cypriot Orthodox Church and the fanatic Greek Cypriots perhaps see Russia more as their “Motherland” than they do Greece…And Stanislav Osadchiy, who served nearly 10 years as ambassador in this country, was “a great friend” of the conservative fanatic Orthodox Greek Cypriots…Now, Russian President Putin has appointed a new ambassador to Cyprus…Murat Magometovich Ziyazikov (Seen here in the photograph together with Putin…) Brother Murat and Ersin Tatar share the same religion…I wonder, would they attend Friday prayers at the Hala Sultan Mosque in Haspolat [Mia Millia], together with the Turkish Ambassador and our other lackeys who “go to the mosque out of ass-kissing and hypocrisy?